We carry a wide selection of titles in The Arts, Theology, History, Politics, Social and Physical Sciences. This book is written as an informal chat between Cleese and Skynner where they discuss how people's family influences who they choose as a partner and how that feeds on to how their new family functions once they have kids. To calculate the overall star rating and percentage breakdown by star, we don’t use a simple average. The structure is roughly chronological in that it discusses human life from starting a relationship to first baby and the child's developmental stages up to the child being sexually mature and ready for marriage. This isn't a stereotypical self-help type of book and that makes it THE book that could save your marriage and/or the way you relate to your children.

One could take the view that in terms of time, money and convenience a three hundred page book is a considerable improvement on three and a half years in group therapy.Having a baby and a toddler in the family, I can honestly say that they will benefit from the fact that both parents have read the book.

Um livro bastante interessante sobre a dinâmica das famílias que se baseia numa conversa entre Robin Skynner (psiquiatra) e Jonh Cleese (um dos fundadores dos Monty Pynton). This time I found it much more interesting, possibly because I have my time for non fiction now and also because I am in a better place in my life. Love, sex and marriage and parenthood, depression and sadness, independence and experience are just a few of the many issues explored in conversation by family therapist Robin Skynner and his former patient and comedian, John Cleese. Interesting, thought provoking, perhaps somewhat controversial especially with respect to the views expressed on homosexuality, funny and worth the read. This book, along with Lise Bourbeau's "Five injuries" are the best thing I've read on the topic of why we do what we do, we fear what we fear, we love what we love and we act in ways we normally don't understand.I first read this about twelve years ago, and found it extremely helpful in understanding my sons better.

The focus is on teaching people to live in the real (NOT ideal) world and to learn to deal with it, to develop some backbone and realistic expectations. Even now, as an empty-nester, I can see a lot of value in this for self-help, and figuring out how people tick and why some are easier to get along with than others - quite apart from their different personality preferences. Skynner was intrigued by Foulkes, and by the early stages of the Therapeutic community movement, which was beginning to gather strength. How we chose our partners and how families repeat patterns of behaviour down through the generations is looked at in great depth. I don't agree with every word - the recommendations about strict discipline for children seem over-harsh to me, for instance - but much of what's said is revelatory and fascinating.

Looking candidly at everything from our relationships with our parents to why and how we choose our partners, no emotional stone is left unturned: jealousy, rage, fear, envy, love, obsession, hope and despair - all are featured-with practical advice on how to turn round a negative situation and bring about change for the better. But if you ever wanted to know why some families get along and others don't, in broad terms, I'd recommend this book highly. Some bits are interesting - after reading it, I notice a lot more how couples seem to come from similar background even if the similarities aren't obvious.

One warning - much of this book goes against the common wisdom of the day and the authors don't propose that parents mollycoddle their children. Good relationships bring lots of different feelings but mainly positive ones that lift your heart or at least stabilise you so you feel strong inside and able to deal with pain.It is particularly interesting how psychoterapy tends to make itself religion-like by owing virtually all inconveniencies of human personality to such early a childhood that no method of proving particular behavior of patient or patient's parents in that period exists. The book takes the form of a series of dialogues between Skynner, playing the role of therapist, and Cleese, who adopts the role of inquisitive lay person. The book is a description and analysis of how and why we fall in love, how we develop from babies to adolescents to adults, and how during this development we so often become "stuck" in childlike behaviour, and how all these things are influenced by previous generations in our families.