Living with the Dominator
- Brand: Unbranded
Description
Women should stay at home and not have a life of their own’ – isolates us from our family/friends, stops us from working. For that reason - I think this book didn’t go into enough detail for me. Whilst the book does touch on affects of violence on children, I would have liked this part to be lengthier and what was written wasn’t relevant to me. Women should be responsible for all childcare’ – moans when he has to ‘babysit’! Threatens to take the children away. To introduce women to community resources such as Women's Aid, the Police Domestic Violence Unit, The Rape and Sexual Abuse Centre, local Colleges etc.
I was fortunate enough to meet and work with Sharon when she was the Advocacy Manager at Woman’s Trust and I was working for Westminster City Council. During this time Sharon developed and managed the Independent Domestic Violence Advocacy Service.. We have recently commissioned the wonderful Offshoot Film Company to animate the entire Freedom Programme. The Dominator uses various and numerous tactics to keep these rules in place. Here I have described some tactics The Dominator may use to keep each of the above ‘rules’ in place: The Freedom Programme examines the roles played by attitudes and beliefs on the actions of abusive men and the responses of victims and survivors. The aim is to help them to make sense of and understand what has happened to them, instead of the whole experience just feeling like a horrible mess. The Freedom Programme also describes in detail how children are affected by being exposed to this kind of abuse and very importantly how their lives are improved when the abuse is removed. Women should believe and accept all the excuses he gives us for his abuse’ – uses the ‘only’ word! It was ‘only’ a slap, blames drink, stress, YOU!This is now available with the supplementary work book ‘The Freedom Programme Home Study Course’. This workbook makes the Freedom Programme even more accessible." The Freedom Programme Home Study Course’. This workbook makes the Freedom Programme even more accessible, I also realised that abusive men do not understand their own behaviour. They do not realise that they decide to use violence when they realise that their other tactics are failing.
The new Facilitator’s Manual is now available. It is in a simpler style and is designed to be used in conjunction with 'Living with the Dominator'. I am the author Pat Craven. When I was a Probation Officer I ran courses for male 'perpetrators’ of violence against women and children. For two years I sat among groups of men who had injured, raped or killed their victims. I realised that abusive men use a range of tactics to control women. If attending our face to face sessions you will receive a free copy of ‘Living With The Dominator’ and a copy of The Home Study Workbook which is a supplement to ‘Living With The Dominator’. I listened to everything they said and became determined to impart this information to the people who had no understanding of such violence. This included other ‘professionals’ and the women and girls whose lives could be changed or even saved if they were just given this vital information. A woman should provide services and act as an unpaid servant’ – does nothing around the house to help, Burn everything he cooks.A woman should never be allowed to leave or end a relationship, no matter how abusive or violent it is. Women are accused of ‘breaking the rules’. we may say ‘NO’!. We may say we are leaving. We refuse to have sex. We go to work. We make friends and go out to see them. It is worth pointing out that women do not actually know what the ‘rules’ are. They change constantly and what we think is a rule, ends up not being a rule. We don’t know what the right thing to say or do is and when we think we have worked it out, we are still wrong – hence the saying ‘Walking on eggshells’! I published ‘Living with the Dominator’. I wanted to reach everyone who was unable to attend a Freedom Programme. I initially wrote the ‘Freedom Programme’ to educate women, girls, men and boys. Then in 2008 I published ‘Living with the Dominator’. I wanted to reach everyone who was unable to attend a Freedom Programme.
perpetrators’ of violence against women and children. For two years I sat among groups of men who had injured, raped or killed their victims. I realised that abusive men use a range of tactics to control women I am Pat Craven a former probation officer who ran perpetrator programmes for Merseyside Probation Service in the UK between 1996 and 1998. I concluded that the programmes could have been much more successful if they were run in a different style and by a different agency which was not subjected to the same constraints as a statutory body.
I have produced this manual in response to requests from hundreds of practitioners who have asked for a different approach to working with men who use violence against women. It is eye opening, informative, empowering, sometimes funny and often times sad, a lot concerning but also powerful, relieving, validating and insightful. The friendship and power that a group provides is invaluable.
- Fruugo ID: 258392218-563234582
- EAN: 764486781913
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